Blast From The Past 5: A Band Apart

I should also note that I will be counting comments left on the 30 or so myspace blogs I did there since my last 100 blog comment results were posted, so you can do some catching up there too as well. This was posted almost two years ago and is my entire history in school band. You learn a lot about me here, for all you potential biographers out there. Enjoy.

Allow me this long trip down memory lane. Don’t be a lazy fuck and discard it just because it’s long. These are dear memories to me.

I present to you, the entire history of my years in school band.

5th grade-I remember it well. Somewhere within I’d say the first few months of the year the music teacher showed up to do an assembly for all the 5th graders. She had all the available instruments on display and played a little bit on each on so we knew how it sounded. This would be the only time in my entire schooling that band would be the thing that the cool kids did. My friend Bryan wanted to play the trumpet. My friend Andrew being the loveable weirdo he’s always been was the only 5th grader to choose the baritone, and I chose the clarinet. Why the clarinet you ask? I liked the sound of it. Mostly though I saw that most kids were choosing either trumpet or drums, and even then I hated to be with the status quo. The first day of band was a dream. Everyone had their rented instruments in their shiny new cases. No one knew how to play a lick, but man did we know how to clean our instruments  So for the 5 minutes we waited for everyone to show up we all put our instruments together and blew as loud as we could because in our hands we held the newest and coolest toys ever  Band was really odd in 5th grade. Since we didn’t have seven different classes in the same day and it wasn’t mandatory, those that chose to be in band were to report to the band room as soon as you were done eating lunch, therefore cutting into your lunch recess. This would be my introduction to cutting class, that wouldn’t leave me til I left school. Of course at first going to band everyday was the coolest thing in the world. Then when we quickly realized that we weren’t going to be learning Aerosmith or Boyz II Men songs by day two, band got boring. Twinkle Twinkle this, Hot Cross Buns that. It was not fun. Recess was way more fun. With the frequent cutting I did it made it very hard to stay up with the rest of the class. I only knew how to play four different notes, while the rest of the class was learning about sharps and flats  The distance between what I knew and the class knew grew more and more as did my cuts which eventually led to me quitting band. My parents were none too happy by this news, as they spent a lot of money to rent my clarinet. I explained that I just wasn’t smart enough for band and the teacher was horrible. They allowed me to quit under the condition that I rejoin as a sixth grader.

6th grade-I kept my promise and rejoined band. Being that I didn’t know what I was doing in 5th grade and I also went an entire summer not playing an instrument I was no rightfully placed at last chair. The teacher gave the option to any 6th graders that were struggling or did not play in 5th grade to join the 5th grade band. I accepted the offer. I went to class much more often and did better, but I hit a wall. At the end of everyday everyone at school had an elective, like band, and then P.E. If you were a 6th grader you did P.E. first then your elective. If you were a 5th grader it was in the opposite order. So not only did I get to attend band with the little kids, I also had to do P.E. with them. It wasn’t so bad though, because this meant I got to spend both with my good friend (to this day) Michael. To anyone that knows him as the current piano prodigy that he is, just know that he used to be a last chair clarinet player with me. Toward the end of the school year I challenged up to rejoin the 6th grade band. Even though I had not learned very much more than I knew in 6th grade, the teacher let me in. I was last chair though. Band was not fun anymore. I would often tell my parents tales of how boring band had gotten and how I just don’t think I was made out for it. Around this time the local high school Jazz band put on a concert and my dad took me to see it. This would turn out to be a life changing night for me. Of course I had heard a saxophone before that night and I had heard Jazz music, but I never realized that I could maybe play it too. It was like a part of my ear had been asleep my entire life and had finally been awaken. I wanted to play Jazz. I wanted to play the saxophone. Of course I wasn’t going to play the much more popular Alto sax. I had to get me a Tenor Sax.

7th grade-I started the band year once again very far behind where the rest of the class was. Over the summer my parents traded in my clarinet and got me a Tenor Sax. I had been taking private lessons too, but only knew three notes. To my surprise on the first day of Jazz band John Brenemen, the only boy that dared play the flute, had also taken up the Tenor Sax and knew just about as much as me. From there on we formed a friendship that remains to this day. Jazz band moved much quicker than any other band I’d been in. The songs sounded so cool that everyone else was playing, but weren’t very fun when you are simply circling  the three notes you know how to play and sitting with a confused face. Slowly though with continued lessons I got it. And so did John. Soon we knew all the notes, even the upside down ones  Overnight I had turned into a pompous Jazz fan. Jazz wasn’t about reading arrangements of pop tunes that some failed music major in his 40’s wrote for beginning Jazz bands  It was about doing solos. I forced myself to start soloing, no matter how bad it sounded. Trust me, it sounded horrible. I solo’d on one song with a terribly written solo consisting of all quarter notes. Still, come concert night even though everyone in the band had heard me play that damn solo 400+ times, to all the parents in the audience it was their first time and the applause was like Cheez-It’s from heaven. Toward the end of the year the Jazz band’s lone Baritone Saxophonist broke his arm and someone was needed to step in for him. I jumped at the chance. I played it so damn much I even marched with it. Who does that? By the end of the year I was given the Most Improved award. Band was finally fun.

8th grade-For unknown reasons we were given a new band teacher this year. She would go on to be one of the most influential people in my life. Another landmark that year was the meeting and befriending of my good buddy Eric Schrader. We would spend the next six years being the gigliest boys you’ve ever met. He’s the kind of guy has no reservations about shouting out the dumbest answer to a question the teachers asks on purpose. It would always result in me being the only one laughing (in my high pitched girl laugh) and the teacher yelling at him. When the beginning of the year parent teacher conferences rolled around I was very shocked at how much praise the band teacher had for me. My parents were treated to my regular subject teachers telling my parents that while I was a well behaved student, I didn’t turn many assignments in. When they got to Ms. Brown’s conference though, they were delighted to learn that Ms. Brown was head over heals for me. She could not stop raving about me  For the first time in my life I felt I was good at something at school  Band was now my escape. Somewhere in the middle of the year I inadvertently took a step in my life that would change me forever; I bought my first Jazz album. This wasn’t any old Jazz album either; this was Charlie Parker’s Greatest Hits. If you’ve never heard Charlie Parker he, along with Dizzy Gillespie, created the Jazz style known as Bebop. Bebop is short three or four minute songs played at a fast tempo with a very small ensemble. Soloists almost always played their instruments at lightning speed. Charlie Parker played his sax at ludicrous speed. I couldn’t believe that someone could actually play so many notes  I had to be just like him. I listened to this album every chance I had, which was all the fucking time. Listening to this album gave me the confidence to solo more often in Jazz band. No more written solos, for the rest of my life I was to be a improvising soloist. I didn’t dare attempt to play as fast as Charlie Parker though  For the talent show that year I wanted to play a Charlie Parker song. My mom bought me the Charlie Parker Omnibook, which features 100 songs of his fully transcribed and transposed for Tenor Sax. The was my bible for years. Soon I was actually playing the same notes he was playing at the same speeds along with the CD I had. This became my everyday routine after school. One day I was surprised to learn that I had been nominated for the Soroptomist award. This was the award given to the absolute BEST 8th grade in the entire school. This confused the hell out of me, as I was pretty sure I was failing two classes and I hadn’t been Honor Roll even once  But there I was shaking hands with the principal in his office along with all the truly smart students that earned their nominations. I of course did not win. There’s no doubt in my mind that whoever was in charge of the award asked the band teacher who she would nominate and picked me. Had I not gone to community college that would have looked good on a transcript  The year ended with me receiving the Allen E. Jones award for Leadership in band. At first I thought it was just a bullshit award given to say “thanks, that’s all”. It wasn’t until later that my teacher gave that award to who she considered to be the best student of that year’s 8th grade class. I was finally a good band student.

Freshmen year-All the freshmen were supposed to sign up for concert band, the lower level band for people that needed extra attention. I, being the cocky bastard that I was, signed up for Symphonic band, which consisted of all upper class men and counting me, two freshmen. In Jazz band I, along with all the freshmen, was placed in the B Jazz band. This was taught by a former student while the A Jazz band was lead by the music teacher. He never once listened to us in rehearsal. I had decided over summer that I was to debut my Charlie Parker rip-off style of soloing and blow everyone’s minds away. I spent the first half of the year with no one outside of the small B band knowing that I was playing solos at lightning speed. It was not until both bands played at a local Jazz festival that people were aware of me. It was one of the greatest days of my life. The A band performed first. Hours later B band did our set. The teacher was in the audience as was all of the A band. I could not wait to take my first solo. When the time came I stood up, put my mouth to the mouthpiece, and let my fingers freak the fuck out. It couldn’t have been more perfect  I had a solo in every song and I grew happier with every passing sixteenth note. The days at school that followed were some of the greatest moments of my life. All these upper class men that I had looked up to but never noticed me were suddenly talking to me  Each and every one of them made a point to tell me how great they thought I was. I don’t think I stopped smiling for two weeks. When the next quarter at school started the teacher announced that the seating placement for both Jazz bands would be fair game. We would be judged on our soling abilities. This was the greatest news I’d ever heard  The test day came and I aced it. Many days would go by and I was very nervously awaiting to hear where the teacher ranked us. Finally one day I had enough and asked him flat out. He told me I would be put in A band at first chair  I would spend the rest of the year there taking every solo that I could get my hands on. Life was good.

Sophomore Year-This was my Hootie and the Blowfish year. I went from the most popular and respected musician in band to the musician some people secretly despised.  I remained the lead Tenor in the A band for the remainder of high school, that wasn’t the bad part. Suddenly I started to hear whispers of people claiming I wasn’t really all that great of a soloist. A lot of the older musicians said I did not know how to read my chord changes and all I did was move my fingers fast. The same folk that told me how great I was the year previous were now whispering to themselves like snakes about how shitty of a musician I was. The worst part was, they were right. I didn’t read my chord changes. Whenever it came time for to take a solo I would simply just play by ear. Sometimes it worked and I managed to play a solo that sounded good from start to finish. Often times I would play anywhere from a few sour notes to many consecutive measures of the worst possible note choices. This year wasn’t a total disaster. Save the four snakes that were on to me I still impressed everyone and had no trouble making friends. It just hurt that the people who’s talent I respected the most knew I was a big faker. Still, I was too lazy and comfortable to do anything about this. They would go on to graduate after this year, leaving only my conscience to nag at me for faking my way through every solo.

Junior year-With the snakes gone and the Senior class ahead of me very small myself along with the rest of my class pretty much ruled the band. Jazz band was more of the same; frequent solos from me with little to no regard to the correct chords. The highlight of this year though was that I was elected the Student Director of the away sports games. Anytime our football team had a game on the road, the band traveled along with an all volunteer pep-band. I was the one in charge and picking the songs. I can say that I did a hell of a job without any hesitation. When I was not at a football game I would just be a quiet band nerd, but put me in the stands in front of 50+ band members and I have no hesitation screaming, jumping, dancing, and cheering along with the cheerleaders. Eric and I would often lose our voices by the end of every game. They were some of the most fun times in my life.

Senior Year-Things were way too easy this year. I was still the lead Tenor in Jazz band. I took every solo I could get my hands on. I played in the Symphonic Band, Marching Band, Concert Band, Jazz Band, Dixieland Band, Jazz Combo, and Pep Band. There was no stopping the bands in my life. You’d be surprised how easy it is to leave campus when you have an instrument in your hand. One time I was ditching school and I escaped through one of the emergency exits in the PAC. As soon as I step foot outside the door I see campus security ready to pounce. But then they saw the sax case in my hand and didn’t say a word to me. An instrument case was the best town pass in the world. As the end of the year approached all the seniors knew that the senior awards would be given out during the last concert of the year. There was an award given to the top performer in Symphonic band and Jazz band. I could care less about the symphonic award, but I had been eyeing the Jazz award since I was a freshmen. The nominees were announced and the short list included fellow Tenor Sax John, bass guru David Pitzer, and myself. I felt and still feel a great amount of guilt being nominated against two people that genuinely knew how to read chord changes. I had an unfair advantage. While they took the time to examine and break down every chord, I just moved my fingers fast. On the other hand my teacher was no fool. He had been playing and listening to music for over 30 years, surely there must have been something he saw in me despite my lack of chord knowledge. And I didn’t JUST play really fast notes. I actually cut back a lot as compared to previous years. Still, while every molecule in my body wanted to win so badly, I couldn’t help but feel guilty. The final concert rolled around. I was not nervous. I seemed to have had more solos that usual at this concert, plus I was featured in the Dixieland band and Jazz Combo. It had become the Liberty High School Jazz Band featuring Kyle Sundgren. Then award time came. Mr. Smith announced the nominees which were all followed with applause. Then he said it, “The winner is, Kyle Sundgren “. I stood up with the biggest smile on my face. I quickly accepted my trophy and plaque. I looked over to John who was all smiles and clapping for me. I walked over to him and gave him a hug hoping that would make him feel better, even if he wasn’t feeling bad. In my haze I forgot to hug David. People told me later that he tried to offer me a hug but I did not see him and quickly sat down. I still owe him one. Despite any guilt I still could not be happier. This was what I had wanted since my dad took me randomly to see the high school Jazz band perform. Now here I am some years later on the very same stage accepting the highest award given to Jazz students. This was me at my peak.  
                            
1st semester college-My intention of playing my sax in college was to only do Jazz for fun. At the community college I went to there were two Jazz bands; the Jazz Studio band, the lower ranked one, and the Jazz Ensemble. I just wanted to be in the Jazz Studio band, as a requirement to be in the Ensemble you also had to be enrolled in Symphonic band. Plus despite the Studio band being lower ranked, it was still better and more challenging music as compared to high school. On the first day of the semester the music teacher pulled me aside. He was familiar with as my high school was not far from the college. He asked me why I was not enrolled in the Ensemble and I told him I didn’t have an interest in Symphonic band. He said that he really was looking forward to me playing in the Ensemble. Somehow he convinced me to join, and therefore also join Symphonic band to play the bass clarinet, an instrument I had played a grand total of 5 minutes of in my life. To make room for the two new classes I was adding to my schedule I had to drop a few classes. I wasn’t even a music major and yet I was devoting 90% of my schedule to music! It was a fun time though. Easily half of the band came from my high school, so it was like a reunion. Plus, since it was college they didn’t take attendance! Now I knew I could get away with cutting and never get caught! Needless to say I cut probably 55% of the classes I was supposed to go to. Most of the reason being that I just liked not going to school, but some of it was because I had lost interest in a girl I started to date who was in all the bands with me. As far as fitting in musically it couldn’t have gone any smoother. I was gaining the respect of my peers for my soloing abilities, even despite my poor attendance. As the semester rolled on I grew to loathe so much devotion to bands that I didn’t want to be in, especially Symphonic band. Plus things got really awkward between the girl and I, simply because I made them that way. She disgusted me. When the semester ended I knew that there was no doubt the next semester I would only do the Jazz studio band.

2nd semester college-My attendance was near perfect this semester. I could actually enjoy the semester knowing that I didn’t have to play instruments I didn’t care for in bands I hated. Plus, I never had to see that girl. I once again was playing Lead Tenor and was soloing like normal. Something wasn’t right though. The people who had openly admired me the previous semester were now indifferent. I could start to feel that unwell feeling again. The feeling that they are on to me being a fake. I still was no better at reading changes and I was frankly beyond repair at this point in my music career. The guys back in high school who were never any good at soloing were suddenly getting good, and they were doing it the right way. People were passing me at a rapid pace. The solos offered to me became less and less. By the end of the semester no one was talking to me. Then it happened. The first class following a performance we would always listen to the performance on tape and analyze ourselves. After one of my solos the teacher paused the tape and looks at me and says “Kyle, you don’t know how to read your changes, do you?”. I replied in a not denying not accepting way saying, “Well, not as well as I’d like”. My secret was in the open. Maybe it had been obvious to everyone in the room for a while. Even if I had managed to string along some dumb asses this long, I had now been revealed. I felt like the White House Christmas Tree being disposed of on December 26th. I felt like Leonardo DiCaprio when he was finally caught in “Catch Me If You Can”. Playing music would never be fun for me again.

3rd semester college-The teacher who had taught the bands the previous two semesters I was there decided to take the semester off. Despite him outing me I did really like him. He had a great sense of humor and had a great way of motivating people. His replacement for the semester was this horrible woman who was the opposite of him. I did the Studio only once again. I went from having no less than three solos per concert to one or no solos. It was a combination of me losing more and more confidence in myself and the teacher not liking me. I was once again lead Tenor, but only because of seniority. There was a new Tenor player fresh out of high school. He was clearly better than me on day one. He should have been playing lead and everyone knew it. Basically, it was the worst elements to breed a fun and knowledgeable semester. The only thing that kept me going was the promise of the good teacher’s return the next semester.

4th semester college-He did return, but he was no longer leading the Jazz Studio band. The man he chose to replace him was at one time named the best living American sax player. Not even joking. So here was this musical genius telling us the first day of the semester that he is going to strictly enforce chord changes in everyone’s solos. We spent the first day sight reading a bunch of tunes that thankfully did not force me to solo in front of this man. As you might guess with him being a musical genius and all, he wasn’t the best at being social. Everything was cut and dry with him. I knew that while this is probably the best thing for me, I could not handle the scrutiny from this man. I left in the middle of the first day. In my delusion I thought that maybe I could join the Jazz Ensemble and not only would the teacher let me in, but he would also allow me to not be in Symphonic band. With me wanting to be in the band, there were now too many Tenor Saxes, so try outs were held. They were four whole rehearsals with three Tenors rotating in and out on both lead and 2nd Tenor. I knew I didn’t have a shot in hell at taking lead, but to take 2nd I would have to beat last semester’s wunderkind who was still playing circles around me. On the last day of try outs it was clear that I would be the one not accepted in the band. I felt that I no longer had anything to lose. The teacher asked me to play 2nd Tenor on a song. It featured an open solo section for anyone interested. I volunteered knowing that this would probably be the last song of the day. The next day a decision would be made and it would not include me. This was to be, my very last Jazz solo and my very last Jazz performance. When it came time for me to play my solo, I played one of the best I’d ever played in my life. It wasn’t the normal crazy fast fingers that would have impressed anyone in high school. I truly did my best to follow the chord changes. It was the solo I had been trying desperately to find in the dark for years. It was the only real solo I played my entire life, and it came right at the end. The song finished. Bittersweet doesn’t come close to describing my feelings. I couldn’t help but feel like an aging hooker trying in vain to turn a trick. The next day came and I read the paper that didn’t contain my name. I could still stay in the Studio band, but I knew my time had come. I pulled out my cell phone and dropped Jazz band from my schedule. For the first time in over ten years, there was no band in my life. The friend who had always been there for me since 5th grade had died. I still mourn him to this day.

Blast From The Past 4: Adjusting

I’m going to be posting a few of these within the next few days. I’m cheating my way to my 100th wordpress blog. That’s right, 100. Which means I’ll be counting comments soon and declaring a winner once again, so catch up if you want a chance to win! This was posted one year ago today and I’m really proud of myself. It was inspired by an episode of ‘Big Love’.

Will you adjust my ties and fix my collars?
I’m perfectly capable of doing both.
In fact, I did do both
But I want that simple feminine arranging.

A slight tightening of the tie.
A brushing of the collar.
A soft pat on my chest.
An undisputed smile while still in your bathrobe.
Give me that before I head off to work everyday.

The promise of that alone is worth giving up the dream and becoming a 9 to 5er.

Rum and Internet 6: The Rebirth of Cool

5:30 Hey it begins! I’m doing this month’s rum and internet from Denise’s computer! First off let me tell you how amazing of a photographer she is. On a scale from 1-10 her photos are in the infinity range. On top of that, I’ve never been in a more clean house IN MY LIFE! I’m almost afraid to exhale…because I think that would cause things to be more messy. Yes, I have started to drink already. Just about done with my first cup. This will be a shorter rum and internet, only 4 hours tops, but I’ll be damned if I let something like not having the internet at home stop me from doing this. It’s too much fun. I will be able to watch steaming movies now unlike last month! High Five!

5:35 I really wish I had ‘Inglourious Basterds’ on DVD. Now why in the hell is Inglourious underlined as if it were spelled wrong, but Basterds isn’t? Up yours wordpress. Anyway, if I had the money I would watch it and it was a great ass movie. It wasn’t really an ass movie like some sort of fetish porn. I’m definitely a boob man, but I can appreciate a nice ass. But that’s not why I want to watch that movie, even though it’s not an ass movie. Hmm, I forgot what the point of this entry was.

5:43 I’m wearing my skinny shirt right now. I hate to brag, but I’m looking sexy! You know you ladies like a man with uncombed hair, a 49er t shirt and jeans. I read it in Cosmo.

5:44 OK so there’s this girl that’s been hanging around my place recently who really wants my nuts. I guess I’m assuming she wants my nuts, but at the very least she wants to hold my hand. Anyway she’s a friend of a friend that comes around to our place for our weekly party/get together (is that one word?) (rather, should it be?). She’s not bad looking, I mean she’s no 10, but she’s not bad looking at all. Thing is she’s a trainwreck! I think her interest in me is more that I’m single and less that I’m attractive or interesting (which I am you should know). She’s without a doubt an alcoholic. I realize that irony of me complaining about an alcoholic when I myself am drunk right now, but I do like to drink but it’s never more than twice a week at most. Anyway, she drinks all day everyday, she’s 31, she’s got two kids, and she is always saying and doing the stupidest things when she is around me. But she really really likes me. I’m nice to her and I know that I could easily easily take a shot at that (you know what that means you metaphor hounds), and I know I’m in no position to turn down a decent looking girl sexually (I just revealed the metaphor for you guys). I would consider it if it somehow I knew it would just be a one time things, but I absolutely know it would not be just that. She’s looking for someone to buy her booze and take care of her and her kids, which I refuse and don’t even want to do. Plus I’m pretty sure she is going to be visiting out place at least once a week now for a while. So I guess the point of writing this is to make sure I’m right in turning down her at least hand holding probably love making. Also Denise just shook a Guinness bottle at me very threateningly.

5:56 Oh man there was a really funny picture of a sign on failblog I wanted to post here, but I’m on a Mac and there is no such thing as right clicking on a Mac so I don’t know how to post it here. It was a sign for a restaurant called ‘Pee and Poo’. I kid you not! Oh laughter!

6:03 Talking with Chris online about baseball. I AM SO DAMN EXCITED FOR BASEBALL RIGHT NOW! There is absolutely no reason to be optomistic for the A’s this season, but still baseball is fun no matter if your favorite team is great or horrible. Also, Yankees suck.

6:10 Alright, I’m a little distracted by failblog right now. I’ve not had regular every day internet in my life for about a month now. Next month is looking good, but nothing is for certain. Anyway, I will stop looking at failblog after I finish the page that I am on. I type real fast. I once again hate to brag, but I’m a fast typer even in my current state.

6:12 Now I’m scouring peopleofwalmart.com. I want to see if there is a picture of me on there. See, every Sunday at my place we have a party. Not an all out like worry if that cops will show up, more like a chilled get together with close friends and counting me there are like 2-3 people that are drinking and everyone else is sober. Anyway, I had the great idea of making every Sunday’s get together a theme. Like the first week we did wacky hair and Gerri, wonderful Gerri, won that week. This most recent Sunday was Rainbow week. We all dressed up as a different color of the rainbow. I had Purple. So I was dressed in a purple dress shirt, purple tie, purple bandana, purple Bootsy Collins style hat, and purple ribbon all over my body. I was the winner of this week’s theme by the way. Anyway on top of our partying we decided to do a photo scavenger hunt this week, which we don’t do every week. While we were on the hunt my team had to go into Wal Mart to grab a few pics. I certainly  looked wacky and was in Wal Mart so if someone took my picture I would definitely be on the site.

6:19 I am drinking fast! I am about to get my third cup full. No, cup of water, then a new rum refill. This is fun!

6:23 Oh man one of the people of peopleofwalmart had a Big Dog’s shirt. Does anyone remember those shirts? They were at least a passing fad in Northern California. I think they were made in that area. Anyway, I have to admit I had a few when I was younger. I think I actually have one deep in my dresser still. They always had some sassy dog saying something sassy or parodying something with a dog pun. The first one I ever had was of a dog in a tux and it said, “Bone, James Bone. License To Thrill”. Lame, but in 5th grade I felt like to coolest kid ever when I wore it to school.

6:28 Laura wants me to read her poetry right now! If only I had brought my Bukowski book I’d be king right now! If only I were sober I would link to my Bukowskit poems I’ve posted or a few of the original poems I’ve written as a result of being inspired and influenced by Bukowski. Instead I leave the burden to you the reader. I did finally organize all my poems into the same category so if you know how to sort through all my categories on here, they are all in the same place entitled “Poetry”. Time to post this mother!

6:33 You know what I’m going to do now. Watch an Enya video online. Yeah, how do you like me now ladies?!

6:36 Man oh man this Enya song makes me laugh a lot. Orinoco Flow baby! Those of you that aren’t Enyaheads, and really who’s not, it’s the Sail Away song. I bet you’ll know it now. Um, I recall watching a video on youtube a while ago where Enya performed on the old Rosie O’Donnell show, and it was corny as hell! Why the hell am I talking about Enya??!??! No idea, but I wanted to go on record as saying that despite all the bad talk Rosie gets, I really am a big fan of hers. Sure she can be corny as hell, but even before she came out of the closet I really liked her. You just know that she is doing and saying exactly what she wants and means. I’ll always be a Rosie fan. Also I think I like her because when her talk show was on the air I would watch it instead of doing my homework, so it always made me happy to be watching her interview Susan Sarandon instead of doing homework that I hated. You know, I didn’t do much homework, but I still consider myself a smart guy. I got lucky in having smart genes I suppose, but I was absolutely not a smart student at all. Man oh man if you and I were talking face to face right now and you were sober you would probably say “Jeeze Kyle has had a lot to drink and is talking a lot, but all the same he is still really good at typing.”. I think you would use better English though when you said that.

6:42 Now I really REALLY want to watch a Pantera video to counter balance out the Enya. This is making me real excited. Hey, did you know that I posted a blog right before this with my top 100 bands/artists? If you didn’t know you should check it out. Pantera ranks pretty high on the list. I have an interesting story of how I got into them to come on the next entry right after I watch a video.

6:48 Fuck yeah! That’s just what the doctor ordered! Anyway, so the Pantera story. From my sophomore year of high school to when I graduated I had the same math teacher. He was the coolest teacher you will ever meet. He knew his shit when it came to math, but he was a metal head through and through. His walls were covered in metal band posters instead of those stupid “Hang in there” posters of cats most teachers have. So he was really cool about us listening to music on our discman’s (because there was no such thing as an iPod back then) during class. He only asked that we don’t have them going while he is lecturing or taking a test, which wasn’t often. Anyway so on this day we were taking a test so I had my discman off and on this day I happened to have Metallica’s ‘Master of Puppets’ album with me. So while we were taking this test he comes by and sees a CD sitting on my desk. He picks it up to see what it was and once he sees it is very impressed with my choice. I am now amongst his favorite students. So for the next few weeks he frequently asks me what I am listening to, and the answer is always “Metallica” cuz I was new to the heavy music scene and didn’t know much else. So like for 4-5 times when he asked he thought it was cool that I was listening to them, but for the next 4-5 times it got ridiculous that I was only listening to them. Finally after asking me again and my answer not changing he says to me “Do you listen to anything else?” to which I answer “No”. So he goes to his desk and grabs Pantera’s “Vulgar Display of Power” album and lets me listen to it for the remainder of class. From that moment on I was hooked! I don’t wanna delve too much into it cuz I’m pretty sure no one reading this is into them, but Pantera pretty much was The Beatles of heavy music. All four members of the band were EXTREMELY talented and could write some awesome music and had nothing but great albums while they were all still alive (for the record it was murder that did them in and not drugs). Anyway they deserve your respect even if you don’t like heavy music.

7:01 Holy moly I just took the greatest urination of my life! I think I lost 20lbs! I should slow down the drinking, but I certainly am not putting an end to it just yet!

7:04 I hate to admit it, but facebook is way better than myspace. Still I would go back to myspace in an instant if any of my friends actually posted there still. It’s weird that almost all of my friends made the move over to facebook, but close to none of my brothers’ friends use facebook. When I was home for Christmas my brothers thought I was weird for checking facebook.

7:10 Would you like me to talk about Enya more? Hahahaha cuz I can! Really I just know that one song by her and that’s it, but it’s hilarious in an awesome/ridiculous way.

7:12 Denise just brought me tamales! This may be the greatest Rum and Internet ever. Prior to this the greatest Rum and Internet experience may have been when I happened to check the mail in the middle of my blogging and discovered that that month’s letter from Sean Penn had arrived, FULL OF BUTTERSCOTCH! Oh lordy that never will get old to me!

7:15 So where I live now is a pretty damn conservative town! Like more than I ever experienced in Orange County. Orange County is more like “I don’t like taxes so I’m voting for McCain”. Ridgecrest is like “Obama kills babies, personally, so I have to vote for McCain or Obama and his dark skin may kill me too”. I saw a bumber sticker here the other day that read “Save a baby, abort Obama”. Do I need to tell you that it was a giant ass truck that it was on?! These people are crazy. I love that I drive around town with my “‘I DO’  Support The Freedom to Marry” bumper sticker. I wonder if my insurance covers asshole grafitti/damage?

7:20 I left every single Tom Waits album that I own at my parents house on accident when I was home for Christmas. They said they were going to send them to me in the mail, but I’ve yet to receive it. I would really relish, love that word but not the condiment, a Tom Waits listen right now. I suppose youtube would be the place to do it right now. Let’s see what I could come up with. Also, these tamales are a dream.

7:23 Oh Tom Waits, you are hilarious. I really want a pork pie hat so I can look just like him. I’m watching him perform ‘Chocolate Jesus’ on Letterman. Denise wants me to play my saxophone right now. The last time I played my sax was early 2008. So two years later I have to play it for the first time in forever and do it while drunk. Out of all the thousands of times I’ve played that baby I’ve never done it drunk. I guess there’s a first time for everything. Too bad I don’t know what the hell to play once I finally put it together. I will pull it out, not sexually, when I post this new post and then Denise gets to the end and says “Hey Lovesaxy pull out that sax”. By then I’ll have at least one more drink in me and I think I will not care anymore how bad I sound. She doesn’t know it yet, but I’m gonna at least ask Laura to accompany me on guitar. I hope she knows blues progressions.

7:28 You wonder how I came up with the name Lovesaxy? Well back when I was in 8th grade in Jazz band we were playing a song called ‘Slightly Saxy”. In an effort to make my friend Eric laugh I crossed off the word Slightly on my copy of the song and wrote my name after Saxy. So for years my nickname was Saxy Kyle. Years later when I became a Prince fan I discovered that he had an album called ‘Lovesexy’. When I joined his fan club at the time, the NPG Music Club, my screen name that I chose was Lovesaxy. This represents the new era in my sax life, despite me not considering myself a (sax) player anymore. I’m gonna post this then get a refill. I’m on my 4th muthafucka!

7:35 This drink is STRONGER like the Britney Spears song. I really didn’t intentionally make it stronger, but it turned out that way. I feel like Mark McGwire’s mom right now. I really didn’t plan on him being so strong, he just turned out that way. Oh man, I hope you get my reference. Mark McGwire was my favorite baseball player long before he went to the Cardinals and did steroids and hit all those home runs. Now he brings me shame, but I still kind of like him.

7:43 I’m approaching my preferred 7 on a scale of 1-10 of how drunk I am. I’m not feeling anything negative but I’m afraid if I have more I will regret it. This is a worry of future Kyle though. For the moment I am really enjoying myself and I can always counter the drunk with food and drink and slowed drinking. Yes, yes indeed things are looking up for old Liz Lemon. 30 Rock quote. Things are also looking up for old Kyle Sundgren. I think this is where you can pin point that this blog jumped the shark. WHERE THE HELL IS SETH!?

7:49 Laura and I are Facebook friends now! Glory! I really like the words glory and glorious! I claim them as mine all mine and saying mine all mine reminds me of the Van Halen song of the same title, but really the point of this entry is to talk of the glory of Laura. She really is fantastic.

8:35 I’m behind in this hour’s post. I realize this hour was very light on updates, but I just spent a good deal of time playing my sax for the first time in a while and enjoying the hell out of it. Laura, Denise, and I just did an impromptu jam and it was great. It may not have been the greatest performance ever, but that’s what real music is about. Being a little buzzed and just playing and throwing caution to the wind. It feels good to be back on the music horse.

8:39 I’m in my last hour I need to step it up! Like Step it Up 2 the streets that stupid ass movie. I’m gonna drink some water then I promise to drink heavily this last hout and type every bit of nonsense that pops into my head.

8:45 I’m suddenly after all the boozing feeling WAAAAY DRUNK. I haven’t even touched my most recent refill. Perhaps I’m better off not drinking it. For right now I’ll leave it alone but who knows how I will feel five minutes from now. I’m gonna put my jacket back on because my man boobs are protruding. That’s a word.

8:48 Going to look up the wikipedia page for the old television show ‘Major Dad’. You remember it!

8:51 Major Dad was only four episodes short of 100 episodes. I understand it wasn’t lighting up the world ratings wise, but CBS couldn’t have let them make four more episodes to make it an even 1oo! Holy shit I’m really really drunk!

8:52 I feel the need to type something profound as my time keeps on slipping slipping slipping into the future. Oh yeah I need to send out a mass text! I’m gonna do that now, with absolutely no idea who I will send it to or what I will say. Results to come soon.

9:01 Oh lollipops and dreams! Bernardo just called me! That lad is a great one. I told him I would call him for sure later tonight and I fully plan on it. Too bad I don’t have internet at home to tell you about it, but I could always tell you about it after the fact.

9:05 Going to eat a whole piece of bread just for the hell of it in an effort to soak up this mass alcohol in my belly.

9:08 Aaron’s here! He’s my ride home, but I think he’s going to stick to his commitment to take me home at 9:30 and not right now. Either way he is a dream. He is my Aar bear.

9:13 Oh man this sandwich is ruling my world. I just grabbed a piece of bread and a piece of cheese and it was the greatest decision of my life. I tend to always make my greatest decisions while doing rum and internets but it’s always a joy. So if this was my own place I would promise to post a lot more for many more hours, but I must respect where I am and realize that there are people in this world who have jobs. I’m not at all mad or inconvenienced by this, it’s just more motivation to get my own job so I can afford internet at home and do these rum an internets at home til all hours. I like to drink.

9:17 I just realized I don’t remember at all if I sent out a mass text or not or if I did I don’t remember what it said. This must be a record for most intoxicated that I’ve been while doing these. I honest don’t remember. I’m gonna lean towards didn’t send it, but I don’t know. Here’s something I’m serious about. We, and I mean all three of you counting me, should work on regaining former readers of my blog that went by the way side. I’m talking about Chris, Grace, Elise, Irene, Stephanie, Jessyca (!) (I live with her!), and probably others that have for one reason or another dissappeared. No way I spelled that right, but I truly mean what I say when I say that I want to make combined efforts to get these readers back. I know I’m no Picasso when it comes to blogs, but I post some interesting/entertaining shit. I don’t see why these people wouldn’t want to read it.

9:23 I am totally serious when I say that I will pay you if you become a serious Prince fan. I will know if you’re serious or not, but if I believe you are and you genuinely love him, I will send you money. I need more Prince fan friends. I really have only two, and really just one that I talk to regularly. Cristina. I hope she reads this but I know she won’t. She is most amazing and I love having her in my life to commiserate about Prince and every other thing about life. I realize this is getting very specific and not interesting to the masses, but this is just what comes to me at this moment and that is what rum and internet is all about.

9:27 Oh man I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to type this, but this is truly an interesting story to type about. So for Christmas I got a juicer. Chris Suttle hipped me to the greatness that is a juicer. So finally today I used mine. Chris also sent me a list of juicing recipes that was a good mix of vegetable and fruit juices. Today I decided to try an all veggie juice. I put in 4 stalks of celery, 8 stalks of Bok Choy (which is the first time in my life I can say that I bought and typed the words ‘Bok Choy’.) and two apples. It is fucking gross! I took one sip and it was absolutely terrible! I’m not given up on my juicer. I want to do all fruits from now on cuz the vegetables were fucking horrible. All the same when I find a good fruit combo I will be mixing it with RUM! I’ve done it once before and I will do it again. This will be my last post of the night. I realize that this is the shortest of all the rum and internets, but it is also the most interactive of the six. I know that most of you reading this will never know what it’s like to experience what I experienced tonight, but if you did you would know that it was a fun ASS NIGHT! I have absolutely no doubt that moving to Ridgecrest was the right choice to make and I love everyone here. Good night everyone and I appreciate everything you may or may not post tonight.

My Top 100 Bands/Artists

I said this was a ways out, but I lie like a liar (good simile). These are my top 100 bands. Seth had the same idea and once again I stole something of his. I’d link to his blog, but I’m on a Mac right now with a left-handed mouse and a giant monitor so that shit would take forever. Just click ‘Notes From The Fire’ under my blogroll and his will be there. I’ll know if you did or not too. Really.

In an effort to differentiate my blog from his though I’ve added some doo dads. Bands/artists that are italicized are in the rock and roll hall of fame. I’m 95% sure of the ones I got. Feel free to call bullshit or point out someone I may have missed. Also bands/artists that are in bold are ones that I’ve seen live.

My list is pretty not indie! A lot of mainstream rock and funk acts I realized, but I threw in the hall of fame thing to give myself a little more credit. I welcome your caustic comments of praise or scorn.

1. Prince
2. Pearl Jam
3. Aerosmith
4. Van Halen
5. White Stripes
6. Beatles
7. Rage Against The Machine
8. Billy Joel
9. Tom Waits
10. Parliament/Funkadelic
11. Black Sabbath
12. Michael Jackson
13. Stevie Wonder
14. Pantera
15. Elton John
16. Ramones
17. Alice in Chains
18. Guns N Roses
19. Led Zeppelin
20. Lady Gaga
21. Metallica
22. U2
23. Jamie Cullum
24. David Bowie
25. Sheena Easton
26. Meat Loaf
27. The Police
28. Bob Marley
29. Chromeo
30. Raconteurs
31. Jimi Hendrix
32. The Airborne Toxic Event
33. Radiohead
34. Esthero
35. The Clash
36. Rolling Stones
37. Outkast
38. Sly And The Family Stone
39. Berlin
40. Nicole Atkins
41. Jackson 5
42. Morrissey
43. Spinal Tap
44. Nikka Costa
45. Stevie Ray Vaughn
46. Cake
47. My Brightest Diamond
48. Judas Priest
49. The Darkness
50. Fleetwood Mac
51. Velvet Revolver
52. Weezer
53. Buzzcocks
54. KC and the Sunshine Band
55. Journey
56. Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
57. Kings of Leon
58. Charlie Parker
59. Coldplay
60. Whodini
61. Queen
62. The Waitresses
63. Steely Dan
64. Scorpions
65. Aimee Mann
66. Dr. Dre
67. Madonna
68. Curtis Mayfield
69. Rick James
70. Talking Heads
71. Iron Maiden
72. Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers
73. Credence Clearwater Revival
74. Lynyrd Skynyrd
75. Kool and the Gang
76. AC/DC
77. Blues Traveler
78. Tower of Power
79. Dave Brubeck
80. REM
81. Hall and Oates
82. Snoop Dogg
83. No Doubt
84. Sublime
85. Dire Straits
86. Static X
87. Puya
88. Devo
89. Fishbone
90. Morris Day and The Time
91. Quantic Soul Orchestra
92. Red Hot Chilli Peppers
93. System of a Down
94. Gin Blossoms
95. Elvis Costello
96. Earth Wind and Fire
97. Huey Lewis and the News
98. Extreme
99. Herb Alpert and The Tijuana Brass
100.INXS

Bicycles and Rice You Mutt!

Someone has been reading my previously posted blogs like crazy lately, but I can’t figure out who it is. Is it you? Is it someone new? I’d love to know who you are so I can give you a hearty handshake.

Also I wanted to let you all know that I am shortly planning on switching my e-mail subscription alerts from what they currently are. This will work better for both of us and not be as stupid as the current one is. All you’ll have to do is click a new link, enter your e-mail and we’re all back in  business. I’ll let you know when it’s ready to go.

Do you like my haircut?

the way of the gun

you all like to exercise your
second ammendment rights
while in all reality executing
your self-defense in more progressive ways
still, it’s a comfort to you that the gun
will always be there for you regardless
of how small a chance you know that
you will ever actually use it

how foolish you will feel though
when someone else opens the safe,
loads this weapon and uses it like it
was born to be used. not simply a souvenier to boast about.
not something to only keep around
to make you feel secure but never
seriously consider
for you see, this gun has a self
to defend too.
the way of the gun dictates that someone
will get hurt, so why make it you?

what good is a gun if you never use it?
load me up, aim me at your deepest
darkest insecurities
let me eliminate all the bad in your life
but don’t ever fire me

Most Disappointing Movies of 2009

These are the movies that I was really excited for, but really let me down once I saw them.

Watchmen-After seeing the trailer for this movie, I just had to know more. All I knew was that it was a very respected graphic novel. Thankfully Chris let me borrow his copy, and I actually read it! It was freaking phenomenal and I’m glad he kinda forced me to read it because it was truly spectacular and I know I would not have read it otherwise. Then I saw the movie, and all those great feelings I had whenever I would hear the word ‘Watchmen’ just made me turn sour. I think the biggest problem this movie had was that it was just that; a movie. It’s a really long graphic novel. Even at the gigantic length in time that the movie was, there was soooooo much that they left out that it made for a shitty movie version. In all fairness to director Zack Snyder I don’t think anyone could have made a great Watchmen movie that was under four hours long. I know I’m not the first to say this, but it should have been adapted to an HBO miniseries and not a movie. THAT would have made it really great. Also in fairness I should say that a good portion of what Snyder did choose to include wasn’t all bad. When The Comedian is shooting at the protesters, that scene was AWESOME! The relationship between Silk Spectre and Nite Owl was just so rushed and unrealistic in the movie. I have not seen the extended director’s version of this movie yet, which I suppose could only make it better, but I’m also convinced that there’s no way there’s enough added footage to make me satisfied with a Watchmen movie.

Whatever Works-When something sounds too good to be true, it usually is. When I heard that Woody Allen’s new movie is going to star Larry David this sounded like comedy gold! Two of the funniest and personal favorite people of mine in the world teaming up! Yes! The result was one of the least funniest movies I’ve ever seen. Woody and Larry are both responsible though. Woody for putting forth an unfunny script, and Larry for thinking he could actually pull of a leading role in a movie. He comes from a TV show where everyone improvises and he plays himself. He’s not made out for scripted lines and playing a complex character. There was one really funny line though that was nothing more than a throwaway line, but it still makes me laugh thinking about it. Larry’s character comes down the stairs and simply proclaims, “I’m really loving how these shorts fit me”. I dunno, I find it to be funny, and the way he delivered it was great.

Funny People-Judd Apatow tries to get serious. I’m not saying he shouldn’t try new things, but he definetly shouldn’t stray too far from what he’s great at. He’s proven he can do a great contrast between raunchy strong comedy with a touch of sweetness to it. He proved here he shouldn’t try to flip that balance. The story arc here was just ridiculous. There were too many abruptly started and ended situations, you wonder why they were in there at all.

Extract-What happened here? I’m convinced that Mike Judge really didn’t write this one. ‘Office Space’ and ‘Idiocracy’ are classic comedies. This movie was just stupid and dull. What made his first two movies great were that they addressed things that we all realize, but had never seen them in a movie. ‘Extract’ had absolutely none of that. David Koechner was the only funny character, but even he got old real quick. By the end of the movie his character was still doing the same jokes and joke styles from the beginning of the movie. Just a poorly crafted script.

New York, I Love You-You have to have seen this one and the movie that came before it, ‘Paris, Je ‘Taime’ to understand why this one was such a let down. In short, Paris was a movie that featured 20-30 different directors who contributed a short film taking place in Paris. Out of all the many short films, there was maybe one that wasn’t really enjoyable. In the New York version, there was ONLY one that I enjoyed. I really don’t get how the producers could have dropped the ball so bad on this one. The shorts were so damn stupid and most of all boring! It was like they got the scripts from creative writing classes…in high school…on the first day of class.

Nine-Probably the movie I was most looking forward to this year. What a shit festival! I am really not a fan of director Rob Marshall’s style of musical directing. Whenever someone sings a song, which is often, they and anyone else involved in the singing or dancing, are transported from wherever they were and are now at an ellaborate movie set. If you’ve seen his movie version of ‘Chicago’ you’ll know what I mean. It’s so damn stupid. If you think of the greatest musicals of all time, part of what makes them great is that they start singing right there on the street or wherever they are and they make it into this grand spectacle. If you start the song off and you’ve been handed a great big shining spectacle, then there’s nothing to enjoy! Add onto that that 90% of the songs sucked, most of the actor’s had horrible singing voices, Daniel Day-Lewis’ Italian accent sucked, and the best song was performed by Fergie, and you get the biggest disappointment of 2009 for me.

Also I’d like to add a special segment to this blog. There ARE NOT movies that I was disappointed in. They were more in the category that I was disappointed in myself about, but I really didn’t enjoy Where The Wild Things Are and Up as much as what seemed like the rest of the world did. Both of them I give a thumbs up to and are both FANTASTIC when it came too their visuals (especially Wild Things! Wow!), but I wasn’t moved at all by them. Perhaps I’m not as in touch with my inner child as I think I am. Maybe I’m both too young and too old to miss those things just yet. Who knows, maybe this year’s Pixar movie will have me blubbering.

Alright, two blogs in a day hopefully will get the ball rolling creatively. I can’t wait to type from my own computer again! That’s what’s gonna get me truly back in the writing mood! Thanks for your patience.

Next Year, Baby 5 (?)

These past two New Years Eve’s I’ve been slacking. I like to write a blog every year on that day, but something’s always kept me from it. This year I had a legit reason, I had no internet access. Still don’t. So let’s see the year 2009 in review.

I started out the year having just moved to Los Angeles and in the middle of being employed by a home shopping show. I ended the year laid-off and moving away from Los Angeles to a town the size of most people’s eyebrows (not Gene Shalit’s).

2009 was my best year as far as fitness went. I lost 15lbs. by the end of the year, although I didn’t really start getting serious about it til July or so. I started to like working out. Those of you who have seen the movie ‘Funny People’, the part where they are walking on a trail and Seth Rogen’s character reveals to his friends that Adam Sandler is dying…that’s the trail that I did my workout on. I actually enjoyed it too. I would lather myself up with sunscreen, fill up my water bottle, take my mp3 player, and walk up that long and winding trail. I saw so many hot specimens. I also saw a snake. That was not pleasant. Believe it or not I’m actually even lighter now than I was at the peak of my workout, putting me somewhere in the total 20+lbs. lost territory since when I started. Don’t get me wrong, I still am a food freak at heart. At this very moment I can smell Carl’s Jr down the hallway and it makes me want to sell my body for some chicken stars and an orange soda. I’ll do it, make me an offer.

It was a strange year for movies. I went from in ‘08 getting into movies for free more than half the year, to spending TOP dollar to see movies in Los Angeles. Get this, the movie theater closest to me in LA cost me $12 for one ticket and $2 to park! That was for a matinee too! At least it was a really nice theater though. It had assigned seating, the seats were extremely comfortable, and the screen and sound were of excellent quality. Probably as a result of paying through the nose while unemployed to see movies I saw six less movies at the theater last year than the year before. As I’ve done every year since ‘06 I’ve kept a log of all the movies I’ve seen in a theater. They are listed by number, date seen, title, theater, and thumbs up or down review. 2009’s movies are listed below.

1) 1/9 Revolutionary Road (Island 7) Up
2) 1/9 The Reader (Island 7) Up
3) 1/9 Slumdog Millionaire (Westpark Up
4) 1/9 Wendy and Lucy (West Park Up
5) 1/22 The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button (M Park 4) Up
6) 3/6 Watchmen (Grove) Down
7) 3/13 Sunshine Cleaning (Arclight) Up
4/16 Adventureland (Grove) Up
9) 4/26 Tyson (Magic Johnson) Up
10) 4/26 Obsessed (Magic Johnson) Down
11) 5/5 Anvil: The Story Of Anvil (Landmark) Up
12) 5/16 Outrage (Laemmle Sunset) Up
13) 6/6 Away We Go (Landmark) Up
14) 6/6 Up (Century 20) Up
15) 6/17 The Hangover (Arclight) Up
16) 6/23 Whatever Works (Landmark) Down
17) 7/10 Bruno (Arclight) Up
18) 8/1 Funny People (Arclight) Down
19) 8/14 This Might Get Loud (Landmark) Up
20) 8/24 Inglourious Basterds (Rave) Up
21) 9/18 Extract (Grove) Down
22) 9/18 The Informant (Grove) Up
23) 10/2 Capitalism: A Love Story (Northridge Mall) Up
24) 10/2 Zombieland (Northridge Mall) Up
25) 10/2 The Invention of Lying (Northridge Mall) Up
26) 10/16 Where The Wild Things Are (Burbank 16) Up
27) 10/16 New York, I Love You (Burbank 16) Down
28) 10/16 Couples Retreat (Burbank 16) Down
29) 10/16 Black Dynamite (Burbank 16) Up
30) 10/28 This Is It (Arclight) Up
31) 12/26 Nine (Rave) Down
32) 12/27 Up In The Air (Deer Valley) Up
33) 12/30 It’s Complicated (Ridgecrest Cinema) Up

If you don’t already do this with your movie theater activity I highly suggest it. I remember reading a blog posted on imdb a while back about a guy who saves his movie ticket stubs from every movie he’s ever seen. He pulls them out when he’s bored and takes a fun trip down memory lane every time he does. This is my version of it, and it’s a lot more tidy! Now and again I’ll open the notepad document with all that info in it and it is a hoot!

I think that’s all I have to say about that. 2009=uneventful. 2010 is shaping up to be a doozy. I’m starting from the absolute bottom of the hill and I’ll get my way back to the top on my own.

Oh yeah! I have a record player now. Not technically, but my roomies have one that they let me use! I had a small collection of records all my own and over Christmas I took a bunch of my parents’ records, so now I have a pretty respectable record collection that I can actually listen to! It is pretty cool, and I can’t help but feel like a hipster while doing it. I’m in the market for a beret. I don’t know why this paragraph is in a blog talking about last year, but I was really excited to report this!

Finally, once again I end this blog declaring that my one and only resolution is to get a girlfriend this year. Not much more I can say about that. Here’s hoping you have a glorious year and also that your resolution is to read and comment more! Tally ho!

Coming Soon

New blogs here soon. Will have internet in my new place before the end of the month I believe. I haven’t forgotten all your wonderful faces. Especially yours.

BUKOWSKI WAS RIGHT II: the young lady who lives in Canoga Park

I’m still deeply engrossed in my Bukowski book of poetry. It’s a pretty big book! I want to just post one now and again that really grabs me. It’s great when a total stranger can write about things that you can connect with. This one is titled “the young lady who lives in Canoga Park”.

she only fucks the ones she doesn’t want
to marry.
to the others she says
you’ve got to marry me.
or maybe she just fucks the ones she wants
to fuck?
she talks about it freely
and lives in the apartment at the end
with a 9-year-old red-haired boy
and a 7-month-old baby.
she gets child support
and when she works
she works in the factories or as a
cocktail waitress.
she has a boyfriend 60 years old
who drinks a jug of wine a day
has a bad leg
and lives at the YMCA.
she smokes dope, mostly grass,
takes pills
wears large dark glasses
and talks talks talks
while not looking at you and
twisting a long beaded necklace with her thin
nervous fingers.
she had a neck like a swan,
could be a movie star,
twice in the madhouse,
a mother in the madhouse,
and a sister in prison.
you never know when she is going to
go mad again and
throw tiny fits
and 3 a.m. phone calls to you

the kids trundle about the apartment
and she fucks and doesn’t fuck,
has an exercise chart on her wall
touches her toes
leaps
stretches and so
forth. she goes from dope to religion
and from religion back to dope and
from black guys to white guys and from white to
black again.

when she takes off those dark glasses
her eyes are blue
and she tries to smile
as she twists that necklace
around and around.
there are 3 keys on the end of it:
her car key
her apartment key
and one that I’ve never
asked her about.
she’s not given up,
she’s not dead yet,
she’s hardly even old,
her air conditioner doesn’t
work and that’s really all I know
about her because I’m one of those
she wants to
marry